Get What You Want by Saying No

I just got back from a cruise to Alaska with my husband a few weeks ago. The weather was wonderful, we ate amazing food, and saw pristine, untouched land that looked like nowhere else. We saw wildlife and passed by walls of green forests with waters tainted by a three-thousand-year-old glacier. We smelled the freshest spruce air and experienced it all on and off a boat. It was unspeakably beautiful. 

Cruising is a great way to see what you want to see, and a lot of it. It also means I know where I can get food at any time, and I know where I’ll lay my head at the end of every day. These are two constants that stay with me as I navigate and explore each port stop.

The not-so-great thing about a cruise is the quantity of food and drink. I know; it sounds like I’m contradicting myself. But it's not the availability that flummoxes me; it’s how much is available, as in, overdoing a good thing. I knew it would be trouble for me. I live a rather regimented lifestyle with my diet, yet I also knew it would be a nice change and a chance to enjoy foods I don’t normally eat.

But, as the week progressed, the amount of food I ate staggered me. I normally don’t eat much breakfast, but here I was sitting down to a fine dining breakfast because I could. I had extra drinks, extra rolls with each meal (when I normally don’t eat bread!), dessert with every dinner and sometimes every lunch. It was fun. Vacation is a time for going off the diet! But, it’s also an outrageous way to live. 

By the end of the week, I remember sitting down in pain, watching people walk by as we headed back to our starting port of Seattle. I was so full! And I realized that I would have to go back to my old diet not only because I needed to, but also for my health and to feel better. Being too full all the time was physically hurting me. 

I’m sure everyone who passed me was full, just like me, because we wanted to get our money’s worth. But was it worth it? I knew that to get back to feeling normal again, I was going to have to say no. Say no to foods that don’t work with my autoimmune disease, say no to foods to get back to my normal weight, and say no to sweets that I had so religiously avoided for years. 

I thought about that and realized it was the answer to getting everything I wanted. Say no. If I wanted to write that book, I would have to carve out time every day and say no to other things during that time. If I wanted to be in shape, I would have to say no to sitting and instead move. If I wanted to be a minimalist, I would have to say no to bringing excess into my home.

This mindset goes against a book I read about saying yes to everything. An introvert started saying yes to everything (mostly social things), for a year, and doors opened for her. And that’s great! Especially when you’re used to saying no. 

I can appreciate the concept, but in the end, saying yes to everything doesn’t work for me; it doesn’t make me feel whole or healthy. I say yes to what works in my life, but I can’t say yes to every commitment, or I will burn out. 

Saying no is in the best interest of my health and well-being, especially as a minimalist. We can’t do it all without suffering the consequences. If I say yes to every social commitment, it means I’m saying no to something else. Period. There’s no way around that. Same with bad versus good food, or buying versus not buying.

So, why say no? Here are a few reasons why I have to say no to most things in my life to get a few good yesses.

I’m saying no to excess: Imagine if I said yes to everything I wanted. Every piece of clothing, every fun pair of shoes, every book, every new piece of house decor. My home would be overflowing. As it is, it’s still overflowing, and I practice minimalism. There comes a point when I have to say no, not only because I don’t need it, but to say no to the desire to consume. We’re used to this: the desire to purchase for the sake of purchasing. We can live with less. We need less than we think we need, and it starts by walking out of the store with nothing extra, closing the app, and, perhaps, not shopping online at all.

I’m saying no to bad health: Saying no to dessert, saying no to second helpings, saying no to a breakfast I don’t normally eat, these are all the things I need to do to keep myself in my best health. Nothing wrong with having a treat, but if I want to remain healthy as I age, there is no way that’s attainable by eating whatever I want, whenever I want. I will have to say no and say no a lot to foods that won’t help with this. It’s not fun to think about, but it’s the only way to good health.

I’m saying no to laziness: No one wants to be reminded that we fight against laziness, but it’s in our construct to want to do the easy thing, to take the wide gate, to go down hills, not trudge up them. I took up running again, after a few years off, and wow does it show! I’m slow, it hurts, and I have no idea if I’ll ever be as fast as I was before. So, what’s kicking me out of bed twice a week to do it? The only thing is me knowing that I have to fight against aging to stay healthy. No one else will do it for me. We atrophy what we don’t use. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically, it’s up to me to keep those muscles strong.

Saying no is not fun, it’s not easy, and usually, there is little to show for all the effort… until later. But, little by little is where it’s at. It’s the slow accrual, like interest, that seems inconsequential at the time, that becomes a huge investment reaping dividends. For me? Those rewards are good health, the minimalistic lifestyle I long for, and a disciplined life.

While this cruise was spectacular, and I’m all for going off the normal diet on vacations, there is a reason I say no most of the time: it’s no to excess, it’s no to bad health, and it’s no to laziness. Fighting against my human self is something I have to do daily, and with every small choice I make. And simply by saying no to the donut and yes to the walk, or no to the pair of shoes I don’t need, that’s where I win… one step at a time.

Experiences over Stuff: When My Children Teach Me about Simple Living

Every week, my sweet youngest son calls me. 

He lives on the other side of the country from me with his wife, so as he's driving home from work, he calls me, because I am his mother, and a mom wants to know how their boy is doing. He humors me and calls me because I miss him so much, and I'd like to think he misses me, too.

We talk a lot about his work, what else he's doing, how his wife is, what she's doing, and, most recently, I asked him what his wife wanted for her upcoming birthday. He couldn't think of anything, so I told him that was fine, and I'd ask her instead. Surely, she would give me an idea.

His wife is lovely and perfect for him, and she sweetly told me - in complete and utter honesty - that she has everything she wants and sincerely wants for nothing. She has her husband, is doing what she loves from home, and literally wants nothing.

This astounded me. Not because I was hard pressed to give her something (I was), but because how had a soon-to-be 21-year-old become so content and wise?

Apparently, they have figured out the "owning less and living more" thing early on. And in a way, she's teaching me how to live. So, while I don't have to tell her and my son to accumulate less and instead acquire experiences - because that is indeed what they're already doing - it reminded me that not all young people are consumers.

It was refreshing and beautiful. And in simple terms, this is how they're doing it:

They live for each other - My son goes to work, leaving home, and she goes to work from home. She is also so happy to make meals, clean the home, and do the laundry - as well as work - for him as equally as he is happy to work for her. It's this symbiotic beauty where their lives are devoted to each other, and that's the core of their happiness: to serve each other. There's a lot of fulfillment happening there.

Experiencing life, not stuff, for happiness - Their happiness is not derived from things. She'll cook a meal, or they'll occasionally go out for a meal, or spend time talking together, going for walks, playing games, or going to the gym together. The highlight of their day isn't shopping on Amazon or at an outdoor mall. Of course, they buy a few fun things. But, it's on the side of rare when it does happen. Instead, their day's highlight is being together, doing slow-living things like cooking, creating, and laughing. 

Wanting less creates a contentment loop - Starting their marriage appreciating what they already have, and not wanting for excess (they, of course, will want and need some things, like saving up for a new car for her, a house, etc.) has already taught them how to live for the important things in life: family, friends, and simple living. They're not even interested in who the Joneses are, or what they're doing. They're busy being connected and content with each other and living with little, using what God gave them. God can't help but bless that.

My daughter-in-law did tell me, since she loves to bake and cook, that a few small kitchen items would come in handy. So, gratefully, I can get her something she can use (that doesn't inundate their home). But just getting her to tell me what she wanted felt like I was asking for a list of bad habits! They're content with what they have. Right now. As young twenty-somethings.

Isn't that the most amazing place to be? 

After hearing all of this and seeing their lack of desire for "stuff," it only reinforces my minimalist lifestyle. Because I want to be there, too. Their joy is making the simple things of life extraordinarily beautiful and fun. They romanticize the everyday things: that cup of coffee, reading a chapter out of a favorite book, snuggling on the sofa. They've figured life out by focusing on the things that really matter.

They're making magic out of less, and creating a world of happiness that no one - or no thing- can take credit for but themselves. 

Live Simply

May: This is the time of year when a million things happen, whether you like it or not.

My kids are grown and have left the nest, but that doesn't matter. I thought I'd have fewer activities to do, and yet, I'm still busy. I have family and friends' graduations, there are baby showers and weddings to attend, and there are birthday parties and dinner parties to go to.

Even if they're your own party.

I turn fifty this year, and while it's not that big of a deal, what is a big deal is the way I've changed what I want to do. The things of yesterday (like the last decade) don't seem that important. I still love writing, reading, and being involved in the vintage clothing industry, but maybe there are other things I should be doing.

Every day is a gift, and I was soberly reminded of that just a few weeks ago when a good friend of mine's husband passed away in his sleep. He was young and had years more to live. But we don't get a memo to tell us when that day arrives. God simply tells us our time is up and takes the breath from our lungs. That's it. 

We just have to be ready. 

And that's where I want to be from now on. Ready. Am I doing the things that bring value? Am I wasting my time? Do people matter more than things?

I wrote a little more in-depth about this subject as a guest writer on the No Sidebar website, which is a community of minimal-living writers and readers. But I wrote it before my friend's husband passed away, and it truly made me take what I said to heart. With his death and my impending milestone birthday, I'm rethinking what matters.

My wonderful friend just gave me this beautiful mug for my birthday. And it's a great reminder of what my daily goal is: to live simply. By doing that, I can focus on what matters, care for those who really need it, and stop wasting my time with things that will be useless and pointless when I'm gone. 

Live simply, but live fully, my friends. 

Let Go to Get What You Want

Last year, around the middle of the summer, I decided I wanted to downsize my online vintage shop. It had been fifteen years of doing this wonderful work (one that I, quite honestly, wouldn't call work), and I wanted to lessen my inventory. I wanted to minimize my work; to practice what I preached. Have less and be happier.

What would this accomplish? It would mean a little less work for me and a focus in my shop on better-quality items, rather than a bunch of lower-quality items. In essence, quality over quantity. It would mean more time doing more of what I wanted with less time in my shop. And with my husband only a couple of years away from retirement, it would mean perhaps a little more time spent with him and traveling.

But something strange happened. I, the minimalist of all minimalists, instead of editing my shop down to a smaller number, added to it. I couldn't let go, I couldn't do it! Sure, I got rid of a few items that I was sick of seeing in my shop (that hadn't sold), but the rest of it? It was too daunting a task. It felt like too much of an investment that I was just going to throw away. There were far too many decisions to make. So, I kept it mostly the same... and added to it instead.

It astounded me. I failed in the very area I knew how to change.

After the holiday season (the best time in sales for me during this time of year), I hunkered down and basically doubled down on my initial decision to make my shop smaller with fewer but better items. I'm four months into the new year, and I'm still downsizing. But I have gotten things where they need to be, and where I wanted them to be last year. And it all came down to my fear of letting go.

If you're in the same boat (perhaps letting go of things in your closet, or your home), then let me tell you how sympathetic and understanding I am. It really is hard. But here's how you can do it, and do it slowly so it doesn't feel like you're drowning in decisions, which was why I was paralyzed into downsizing.

One section at a time: I have so many categories of items in my store; rather than eliminating everything I didn't want at once, I did it one section at a time. So, for example, I went through my sweaters, kept the ones I wanted, and either eliminated some or put other items on sale so that I would procure some profit from my initial investment. Then, I did the other sections over the course of a few months. The items I eliminated were either donated, given away to friends or family, or even kept for myself. If your closet overwhelms you, do one section at a time. It really takes the pressure off to have it all done now.

Keep what you love: I cannot stress this enough. When I was eliminating items from my online shop, I realized the pieces I was getting rid of were items I didn't even like! So, I was buying these items in the hopes of selling them. And then ended up not selling them. This hurt me and my bottom line. The truth is, if I've bought an item I didn't like, my enthusiasm for the piece is minimal, and I know it shows up (my lack of enthusiasm) in the description of the item. The same applies to you and your closet. Keep only what you love, because, even if you paid for the piece and it sits in your closet, if you don't like it on you, it's only going to stay stuck in your closet. Get rid of what you don't love and instead keep only what you do.

Quality over quantity: Would you believe it if I told you that my sales are even better with fewer items? I'm shocked, even though I knew it would work. It's almost as if the idea of quality over quantity is true. (Ha, of course it is!) But, getting myself mentally in a position to go through with this idea - and not regret that what I've given away was lost revenue - is where the truth of it all lies. You have to let go to get what you truly want. I gave up an "image" of having a successful shop to actually have a successful shop with the values of what I believed in: that less is more. As it applies to your closet or home, keep the best, replace with the best, and invest in quality classic clothing items over mass-produced, inexpensive items (ones that you will have to replace a whole lot sooner). Instead, you will be perpetually in style with a happy wallet.

Sometimes getting to the place we need to be is hard. Even when we know what to do. But don't despair. Take it one section at a time, keep what you love, and choose quality items over quantity. And if you're like me - even if my good intentions took a long time to materialize - you can get what you want, which is a simple, minimal life filled only with the things you love, that make you happy, and that you can use.

The Minimalist Collector

Minimalism and collecting. Is this even possible?

I think about this concept. A lot. Because it's part of what I do for a living. I am a vintage clothing reseller, and I have an online shop on Etsy, where I sell vintage. I've been doing this for years, and it's pretty much an integral part of my life now. I'm in search of "stuff," very specific vintage stuff, mind you, when I source items for my shop, because that's what I need, and that's what sells.

And the things I'm looking for are a bit rarer than the average reseller who sells modern clothing. So, it's easy to get into a collector mindset when the items I'm looking for are more unusual. I want to get the rare, special, and valuable things as do all vintage dealers and collectors.  But this often means my "Maybe I should just hold onto this" turns into, "Look at my new collection!"

Yet, it's all just "stuff," at the end of the day. 

Which is precisely why my minimalist mind shoots daggers at the collecting side of my brain during my shopping. But I also want to have a full, diverse, interesting life. Collections create joy, if you will. It's why people collect, after all. It's a way to say, "I find this important, so I want to treasure hunt for this for as long as possible." There's a happiness aspect of it that's addictive. A huge amount of dopamine is released when a treasure hunter finds something that they're looking for.

And while I sell vintage, I also love, wear, and collect it. It will always be a part of my life, from what I wear to the vintage kitchenware I eat out of, and to my furniture and decor. 

But I'm a minimalist, too. So, how does this work? How can it work? 

It works for several reasons, but I'm going to warn you from the start. It requires saying "no" a lot and saying "yes" selectively. I said it was possible, but it wouldn't be easy. Here's what I do as both a collector and a minimalist.

Fewer Better Collections: This is one of the hardest things I had to do when confronted with the reality that I had too much stuff. Collections of toys, dinnerware, belts, books, mugs... You name it, I probably had a variation of some collection of it. That's what happens when you start collecting as a teenager! And don't get me wrong... so much joy has come of it. But ten years ago, I realized continuing my collections wasn't sustainable. Meaning, who would move all of this when I retired? What will I do with it if I move? Store it just to collect dust? I knew something (a lot, actually) had to change when I became a minimalist and I got rid of most of the collections, except a choice few. Those few still bring me great joy, and I'm okay with having a small space dedicated to those few collections, rather than an overflowing house of half-hearted collections.

Make It Usable: Have a utilitarian collection? You might want to hold on to it. That's the measure I used to decide what to keep and what to give away (or sell). I collect vintage Pyrex, but I also use it every day. Can I use all of it at once? No, of course not. But I absolutely rotate through the pieces, using what I can, as often as I can. Another thing I love to collect is vintage mugs. I know that's a big no-no in the minimalist world, and I've downsized that to as few as I can, but I still have a good half dozen mugs I adore and enjoy my coffee out of every morning. They bring me joy, too. Here's the takeaway: both collections are usable. If you have a usable collection, maybe it's a keeper. Is it a dust collector? Perhaps that's one you might want to eliminate.

Be Ready to Give it Away: How do you know if you have a collection or if a collection has you? Very simply, ask yourself this: How easy would it be for me to give it away if someone asked for a part of it? Over the years, this has been an exercise I try to live out. If someone loves a mug I have, I can easily give it away (I'll find another). If someone loves a pattern of my Pyrex, then maybe it needs to be theirs, not mine? Out of my abundance, I can give. And no doubt, it always gets replaced by more. There's a reason God talks a lot about giving in the Bible. It brings joy to others, it brings joy to ourselves, and it keeps our hearts off of "stuff" and onto more important things. And the bonus is that when you give, you will receive back. It never fails because that's God's law: Give, and it will be given to you (Luke 6:38).

I will always be fighting the urge to keep and collect. It's in me forever, and I'm surrounded by things I love because I've made it my work. But that doesn't mean I need to collect everything. There's a time and place for everything, and for me, when I became a minimalist, I knew I'd have to pare down the collections and let others enjoy my accumulated excess.

I do believe you can be both a minimalist and a collector, but you have to be an intentional collector to allow both sides to coexist peacefully.

You Can Have it All (If You're Willing to Wait)

The other day, I saw this wonderful quote. It said: "Don't buy the $300 bag to have nothing in it. Buy the $20 bag and have $280 to go in it."

I love this quote for so many reasons. Probably because it defies the consumeristic voice that surrounds us. This is the choice to have less, to spend less, and to not have to be "on trend."

Given my involvement in the vintage clothing industry (I sell vintage clothing online), I realize that while this quote is true, there is a way to get around it -- a way to have it all.

The truth is, you can have that $300 bag for only $20. You can have both...you just have to be willing to wait for it. I buy and resell (and wear) a lot of vintage clothing and accessories. And trust me, there are very expensive handbags out there for a fraction of the price. I see them all the time.

If you're trendy, this won't work for you. But, if you're into classics, if you're into quality, if you're into having less but having better, my friend, you can have the $300 bag for $20, but it will cost you time instead of money. 

And that is where most people fail. Waiting. You have to deny yourself instant gratification to have it all later. You have to search and look for that piece you want at estate sales, garage sales, thrift stores, or Facebook Marketplace. You do the work of looking now, and then it's a time game until it shows up. I know this from experience. Things I bought and sold fifteen years ago can rarely show up again in another ten years. Other items are a dime a dozen, and I've sold many repeats.

But this is also where the value of the piece lies. Waiting for it, and looking for it, because the reward is great when you do find it.

Here are a few reasons to buy vintage:

1. Quality - It's all about the bottom line in the textiles and manufacturing industry today, so the cheaper the item can be made, the better the profit. Gone are the days of making something to last. Most things you buy today are meant to last a season or two. This is also why I tend to buy and sell vintage USA-made only items. The quality, a mere twenty years ago (let alone fifty), is like night and day. So, by holding out and waiting to find that vintage bag for $20, you're truly getting a bag that's not only worth a whole lot more, but is going to last you ten times longer than any new $20 fake leather bag from Target. 

2. Uniqueness - Why be like everyone else? With vintage, I can guarantee you'll have trouble finding anyone near you with the same item. You will stand out. That bag on your shoulder will be a quality piece that most ladies around you won't have. And that you paid a fraction of the cost of it, well, that's just icing on the vintage cake!

3. Sustainability - Have you been in a thrift store lately? If you haven't, I suggest you do. And try not to cry while in there because it can be overwhelming. There are so many clothes, so many new clothes still with tags on them, stuffed in the racks. And most of the items, after a short life in the thrift store, will end up overseas or in a landfill. By buying gently used items, quality, classic items - items you couldn't even think about buying today for pennies on the dollar because they don't make clothing the same anymore - you're helping to keep one more piece out of the landfill. You're being responsible, wise, protecting the earth, and saving yourself money.

Your money or your time? Pick one. Have the bag you want now for the money (and an empty wallet), or wait for the bag for a whole lot less and get quality, uniqueness, and sustainability with it. There's no question the second choice is the one for me, which is probably why I'm so happy in the vintage industry.

If you want to buy that $300 bag now, fine. That's up to you. It's different for everyone. But, if you're feeling a bit squeamish about spending that money, then don't. Try a different route: hunt for it, wait for it, and then spend less for it.

You can have it all (if you're willing to wait.) And guess what? Here's a little bonus to take away today: This motto works for nearly every area of your life. Why go broke looking rich now, with immediate gratification, when with a little time and patience, you can have it all? 

New Year Thoughts

When it comes to New Year's resolutions, there seem to be two groups of thought:

• Make resolutions (these resolutions will help to create the new you) or
• Don't make resolutions (you don't need resolutions to be better, anyway!)

In my opinion, having tried both forms, it's a little bit of each to reach the place I want to be.

Making resolutions, or for me, writing out goals, creates growth in my life. If I don't have goals, I flounder dreadfully. If I'm not aiming for improvement, it creates stagnation. And if I'm being truthful, I feel lost without goals. 

Goals give me purpose; a sense of working toward an accomplishment. A way to gauge my progress. Even if that goal is small or simple, if I'm working toward it, then it means I'm in the process of transformation, which means I'm working with change, not against it.

I think the problem with the option of not making resolutions, because you don't want to, is more of a wake-up call to where you're at. 

You may be in the midst of serious life-changing events, and adding the goal of losing 10 pounds is too much. Of course, this makes sense! Making resolutions will only add to the stress... at the moment. 

But what about when things settle down? And you have time to think through what you want? Making a few goals for the New Year, even if you wait a few months to start them, is perfectly worthy.

Also, people make unrealistic goals, myself included. Which is where this whole "I'm not making resolutions this year!" comes from. We've made goals for ourselves, failed, and don't want to go through failure yet again.

This is where I let simplicity take center stage. Less is more. Don't make a list of twenty goals (unless you want to). Instead, make a list of three. Write down three goals for three areas:

• spiritual
• physical
• mental

For me, this looks like "create more moments of prayer" for the spiritual category, "add in a walk every day of the week this year" for the physical category, and "write more" for the mental category.

It's not overwhelming, yet I haven't forgone the resolution-making just to make myself feel better. I do need to do more in all three of these categories, but they can start small and evolve over the year.

And when it comes to your health, start simple: start with three categories, find something you can change for each one, and start.

When we look at it from a minimalist perspective, it takes all of our resolutions and goals, directs them into three categories, and simplifies them into terms that our brains and bodies can work with.

Start the year off right: keep it simple. Shed the 2025 you by slowly changing into the new 2026 you as you work to find what fits best for you right now.

Happy New Year!

The Urge to Consume - Staying Minimalist for the Holidays

Yesterday, two weeks before Christmas, I made a trip to Costco. While I try to avoid this place during the holidays, I figured going in as early as possible with a cup of coffee might make it okay. And it was! It wasn't bad at all. 

I went in for two things. I'd already made the big trip to get all of the things I needed a few weeks ago, and now I needed to get the few things I'd forgotten. I needed chicken and chicken stock, and that was it. No extras, no gifts, and especially no desserts.  But I did want to peruse some of the aisles just for fun. 

That was my first mistake. With free time and the willingness to entertain buying, which isn't hard to do at Costco at Christmas, aisle after aisle had something that I could use, give, or need "for survival." And at the same time, every one of these things wasn't truly needed.

For example, I came across an eight-pack of Christmas hand towels for the kitchen. Of course, I wanted one for the season. It's standard for me to have a holiday hand towel in the kitchen, but the last one I'd had was now being used as a rag, and I needed another. But here was the real question ... did I need eight? 

I stood there looking at the colors of green, red, and blue, and longed for the soft cotton towels. I could easily justify this. I could use one or two and put the rest away for seasons later. But then I'd be storing them. Just "holding this for later," which is pretty much a cardinal sin for all minimalists. That's how we become maximalists!

But the price was right. Incredibly inexpensive. It was a worthy, needed, and inexpensive item. But, eight? I told myself I can go somewhere else, buy one towel, and call it good with zero waste, zero need to store more, and save money in the process.

I walked away from the towels. No one needs eight towels for their kitchen in any season. But Costco, and their advertising ways, made me think that I do; that I'm crazy for walking past this amazing deal! And if I were to do this with everything that tickled my fancy, it's how I would walk out of there with a cart full of stuff I really don't need.

Do you have trouble with this like I do? Here's a to-do list (I momentarily forgot to use) that kicked in once I came to my senses: 

1. Make a list

2. Only buy what's on the list

3. Don't look around unless you're willing to say no to yourself on EVERYTHING

4. Think about why you're buying: need or want?

5. Think about your budget

6. Remind yourself about your style: You are a minimalist

7. Think about staying on track financially

8. Only buy what's on the list (yes, I wrote this twice)

9. Run to the car after checking out, so you don't change your mind!

10. Sip coffee, pat yourself on the back, and drive home satisfied that you made it one more trip to Costco without buying something you didn't need.

So, I'm reconfirming how to shop and stick to both a budget and a minimalist plan because even though I've been doing this minimal thing for a while, it doesn't mean I'm never tempted to buy. And there will be trips that I do need to buy, or hey, sometimes, there's the occasional item that finds itself in the cart, and that's okay!

This trip was a good reminder that there will always be many reasons to spend: because it's fun, because I'm bored, have the money, and want to spend said money. But just because I can, doesn't mean I should. And that's where I want to be: willing to live with less, appreciate what I have, and have the courage and fortitude not to buy something just because it's there. 

Sometimes you just have to say no to yourself, walk away, and let the desire fade on its own (which may take time).

Merry Christmas, my minimalist friends. Stay strong, stick to the list, and all will be well! 

A Christmas to Remember

So far, this year has been nothing like I thought it would be. 

Both my boys moved out of the house earlier in the year, then both got married (the second wedding, a surprise!), and now it means Christmas looks very different from the previous 24 years. That's a lot of years to do the same thing and then to suddenly not. It feels a little bit like being hit by a car. What's going on? What happened? Am I hurt?

Because of that, a part of me wanted to not even put up a tree. What was the point? But let's be honest and realistic - I love Christmas. I love everything about it, from the decor to the music to the Hallmark channel. I love it all, whether my boys loved it or not (which they did.)

So, even if my boys wouldn't be home for Christmas this year, or at least not waking up to Christmas day the way it's been over the last two decades, I could decorate for myself. I could enjoy the season regardless of my circumstances. 

And now that things are different, I could even adjust a few things to make it simpler, less busy, and more the Christmas it needs to be.

What did we do differently? Well, here's a short list, but it's a chance for you to see what I'm changing - what I'm taking away and what I'm adding. And the biggest part about these changes is I could have done them when my kids were home, and really should have, but the pressure of having "the perfect Christmas" kept me from doing it.

Taking out:

1. No outdoor lights - This may be sacrilegious to some, but this year, we didn't do decorative lights on the house. It isn't that we don't love them; we do. But we wanted something different. Instead, we have a wreath that lights up with an automated timer, and it still gives our front door the light and the ambience we desire. Maybe we will again, but for now, this is a perfect fit for our simpler lives.

2. Fake tree - For years, we cut down a live tree. Nothing like the smell of a real tree! But, for various reasons, we didn't cut one down this year. (Truthfully, it was because we missed the window to get the permit. Oops! We were busy with a second wedding, and it slipped our minds.) Because of that, we dusted off the ol' fake tree, brought her out, and made do with her dwindling pine needles. Still a beautiful tree with a whole lot less work. We have the Christmas spirit regardless of the tree!

3. Fewer gifts - This one has been a gradual thing, but over the years, I've opted to get fewer gifts, but nicer gifts, for the family. This may be hard on the kids, like my nieces and nephews, but in the end, quality wins over quantity. I'm also opting for "usable" gifts these days, so items that can be eaten or used, or experienced, not collected and left to rot. 

Adding in:

1. More baking - My diet has changed over the years, as it does when one gets older. For me, I've omitted a great deal of carbs and sugar for protein and fat. My diet has to be a touch stricter than I like due to health reasons, but I am allowed to indulge a bit. And if there is any season to indulge, I'd say Christmas is it. I'm baking a few treats this year, I'm going to embrace the season, and I'm not going to feel bad about it!

2. More Christmas Books - With a simpler life comes the chance to do more of what I love, and for me, that involves more reading. I just perused a bookstore with a friend of mine, and we took photos of books that looked interesting. This way, we control ourselves from buying every book we see, and it allows us to look them up and see if they seem like a good read. Also, I tend to buy digital books these days over physical ones. I also borrow from my digital library (check out Libby if you haven't!) and save a ton of money that way. Holiday books put me into the Christmas season, and it's a small gesture that takes my mind off the changes.

3. More family and friends - With two fewer sons in my home, it allows me more time to be with friends and other family. And is there anything else more worthy than that? I have coffee and lunch dates scheduled for the next few weeks and the new year, and I love it. 

Our Christmas morning of cinnamon rolls and sausages will probably be relegated to just the sausages now. We did the cinnamon rolls for the boys! Yes, it's a tad sobering. But nothing is as constant as change, and with it, we will begin new traditions.

While it will be strange not to go into my boys' room to wake them up Christmas morning (or to find them waiting for us near the Christmas tree or their stockings), we can still FaceTime them, call them, text them, and one year, we will get time to spend with them again. It doesn't even have to be Christmas day, just a day designated as our "Christmas" is all I'll want because the best gift will be just to be with them again.

It's a simple Christmas Day for us this year, but it's going to be a beautiful one with just my husband and me and other family. We will spend it reflecting, I'm sure, but we will also adapt and learn new traditions and new ways of celebrating the season. 

'Tis the Season to Declutter

When times get complicated, it's back to letting go of things.

This has become my motto lately. As we enter the holiday season, it's the only thing I want to turn to: letting go. Since I'm usually the one finding, organizing, and buying the Christmas gifts, the burden of it falls on me (though, bless my husband, he does offer to help), but it's still overwhelming. Then there's decorating the house, cooking, meal planning, and on top of that, everyday life, like work and home life.

This year, both of my sons got married. This is not what we were expecting, and to be honest, I'm still reeling. There was a lot to do, and a whole lot of emotions and feelings behind it. And this is all amidst working, running a home, traveling, and everything in between.

So, how does one stay sane? How can I manage to deal with stress, sorrow, happiness, and life? I keep on paring down. I wrote an article last year about this, and thousands of you have read it. I was going through stressful life events and realized that eliminating stuff while I was going through difficult events helped me see things clearly and helped me adapt to a new normal.

I'm right back to that motto. 

When we're busy, minimal living sometimes gets put on the back burner. We have things to do, people to buy gifts for, and keeping things neat and organized, and free of clutter, does get set to the side. It's not front and center; it's way off in the back of an abandoned closet!

Fortunately for us, at least for me, when things get hectic, paring down to what I love is the immediate action I want to take. I can tackle that pile of mail I hadn't sorted through, organize a shelf that had accumulated things over the course of the last few months, and organize my wardrobe (eliminating the things I'm still not wearing - but thought I would - after years of being a minimalist). My inability to declutter while I was busy has now become the focal point, as I sift through my emotional state of letting go of both of my sons to their beautiful wives.

Decluttering through stressful times helps me cope with it all, and here's the real truth: being busy with minimalism is a form of therapy.

1. Clear the clutter, clear the mind: This is the number one reason why I declutter when stressed and why I should declutter when I'm going through things. When I clear the clutter around me, it helps to clear all the "open tabs" in my brain. As I let go and sort through the debris in my physical life, it allows me to focus on the emotional events I'm going through and sift through what I need to think about and what I truly don't. It allows me to breathe. Allows the overwhelm around me to dissipate. Clearing the clutter, getting rid of what I don't need and doesn't serve me, allows me to navigate my new life events - because let's be real, if you're alive, you're going to always be going to and from new life events - and with a new normal. When I can't see clutter, it helps me to organize my thoughts and break down the emotional clutter that I need to let go of, too.

2. Off of me, and onto others: When I go through my rotating clutter that comes in through the busy months, I find that so many of these things I can give to others. Many items, I can give to family members (items I don't or won't use, even things that were gifted to me), or to friends or someone whom I know could use the item. And most often, bags of stuff I find to eliminate will end up donated at my local thrift store, and allow tons of other people to make use of my unused items. When I focus on others, giving to others, it takes the focus off of me, and any hint of self-pity turns into the glory of giving. Shifting the focus off of me and onto others always wins the battle of the mind.

3. Out of Control, to in control: The thing about getting rid of stuff is that it's a huge way of retaking control of your life. I'm choosing what I allow in and what I want to take out. While we can't control what others do, we can control what we say, think, and do. And by extracting the things that clutter up our lives - an overstuffed closet, or a pile of things we bought that we really didn't need to buy - we gain a sense of control, a good control. We get rid of the unwanted and unneeded items and trade them for simplicity and peace of mind. 

As the holidays encroach upon us, take this time as a time to declutter all the things around you that you've been ignoring. These things are taking up valuable space in your mind! Think about giving gifts that your family and friends can use rather than "things" that sit around and take up space. And give yourself a gift this season: a holiday of simple living, filled with only the things and people you love.

When I go back to the basics of decluttering and pare down to what I love, I find that my life - even if it seems chaotic - has an order to it now. I have room to breathe, think, and live an intentional life full of giving, joy, and the willingness to deal with life as it comes to me, no matter what it is.

'Tis the season to declutter!

Key Pieces: The Way to a Perfect Minimalist Travel Wardrobe

Oops, I did it again.

I just got back from a pretty spectacular trip to paradise: the gorgeous island of O'ahu. My husband and I went there to celebrate 25 years of marriage. And we had the best time eating ridiculous amounts of food with ridiculous ocean views. It truly was paradise.

These days, every time I go to pack, I'm confident in myself that I will pack right. I've talked many times here about how I've learned to pack well, and as a minimalist, not only pack well, but pack in five minutes because it doesn't take long anymore. It's a breeze, and I want to keep it this way.

But this time, though I knew better, I still overpacked shoes. Yes, this is because I have a weakness for shoes, but it was also because I didn't have a key piece in my wardrobe. Let me explain. 

Most everything else I packed, I packed right. For a week's vacation, I was able to mix and match all my clothes. There was a single pair of shorts and one skirt I brought that I didn't wear, and that was because it had been a long time since wearing them; I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was in them. (I immediately gave them away as soon as I got home, by the way. No use keeping space for them.) Everything else was spot on. Yay, me!

But, the shoes... so I packed like six pairs. Guys, I know. You don't get it. But for women, we need shoes that go with different outfits because in Hawai'i, we like to change for meals. Just how it is. So, for dinner with my dresses, I brought several sandals. I realized while I was packing that:

1. I still have too many sandals I don't wear. I brought several because one pair went with one outfit, and the other went with the other. Why was I able to mix and match my clothes but not my shoes? That was my problem. I had the key piece of clothing to blend, but I didn't have the right key sandals to blend in with the mix-and-match outfits. That's when I realized I...

2. Needed a key sandal for all my outfits. I needed a neutral sandal that went with the maxi dress, one that went with my sundress, and one that went with a skirt. This same sandal could also be worn with my shorts and other outfits. This explained why I was frustrated with choosing the right shoes for the trip, standing in my closet with numerous sandals in my hands. Nothing worked for everything, and that got me to actually...

3. Buy the key piece while on my trip. I know. Crazy, but I was in a clothing shop on the island looking at a sandal, and it was exactly what I needed to go with everything. So, I bought it! And it really did go with every outfit. To the point that I ended up wearing them nearly exclusively every day. And left the other five pairs of sandals I brought just sitting in a heap in the hotel closet.

I don't think I've ever purchased a key piece for my wardrobe while on vacation before, but there is a first for everything. And in this case, it was exactly what I wanted and needed.

If I had had these sandals before the purchase, I could've left the other pairs at home. My packing for this trip (minus the one skirt and shorts, which were my fault... I should've tried them on before packing, and minus the extra sandals) would have been perfect otherwise. 

I have a trip coming up to Florida in February. I'm determined not to overpack one single item. And I can't wait to do it and tell you all about it. This time, it's going to be just right! Learn from me. Make sure you love what you want to wear, that it fits you, and that it mixes and matches with everything in your wardrobe. 

If you don't have those key pieces, find them, make your outfits revolve around the key pieces (like the sandals, or the blouse, or the pants), then eliminate the extras. Pare down, pare down, and, ultimately, pare down to love. 

Happy travels!

Fall Refresh for the Minimalist

Fall is here. And to me, this season is the "most wonderful time of the year." 

The holiday craze isn't here yet, but the days are finally getting cooler, crisp, and full of change. It's the beginning of returning home, of tending to the house to make it not just livable, but beautiful, loving, and resplendent with the season. It's a chance to watch fall envelope the leaves from green to auburns and golds; to grasp the season as it cools our nights and mornings.

Autumn means the return to slow living. 

Not that summer isn't full of slower moments, but in reality, many families are trying to squeak in the last vacation, and there are pool parties to go to, outdoor concerts, and beach days. It's a busy season. And it's also one that tends to bring in a lot of stuff. 

As far as I'm concerned, as a minimalist, there is "spring cleaning," but there should also be a "fall refresh." And I don't mean refresh in the way of new pillows for the sofa or candles for the tables (although, I did just bring out my pumpkin spice candle and it's all that I thought it would be: wonderful). I'm talking about a refresh in the home and purging a lot of what you just brought in (or things that didn't leave during the spring cleaning).

Here are a few ways to refresh your home this fall.

Wardrobe Rework: If you switch your clothes and box up spring and summer clothes to bring in fall and winter clothes, now is your chance to assess your wardrobe. Again. I'm pretty uber minimalist with my clothing, so all four seasons sit in my closet year-round. I know what I own fits me, and they're all things I wear. Can you say the same for your wardrobe? Before you put away the shorts and t-shirts, the skirts and tanks, and find the pieces you didn't wear. Can you say you'd wear it next year? If you didn't wear it this year, odds are high you won't next year. Set it aside for donation. Do this for every bit of your spring and summer wardrobe.

Summer Switcheroo: Vacations always bring in "stuff" for me. There are random souvenirs to buy (I do buy less now - I prefer the experience over a tchotchke), and yet, I often want the t-shirt, or a mug, or a magnet to remind me of the trip. What this means is I'm already thinking about the item at home that this tchotchke will replace. I've got other t-shirts that I once got from a vacation that would work better as a rag. Or that chipped mug I bought ten years ago can now be gently discarded for the new mug. One in, one out. Always a great rule, even for vacations, do-dads you (or I) just have to have.

Decorative Details: As a minimalist, there are only so many wreaths I want to buy, or decor I need for the house, without cluttering it up. So, I've decided to decorate (the little I do for fall) with natural items; things I can find just outside my door. I have a neighbor with a tree that is literally shedding acorns all day. I'm picking up the sweet acorns and piling them into pottery bowls. One for the coffee table, and one for the kitchen. It's natural, it's beautiful, and it didn't cost me a penny. We have wild turkeys roaming our neighborhood. They only molt once a year, and usually in late summer to early fall. That's right now! I have a small "bouquet" of turkey feathers in a vase on my bookshelf. It's unique and beautiful and fits right in with my vintage pieces. Look around: what does your neighborhood have that you can use decoratively?

We all need a little refresh once in a while. But often, it doesn't have to refresh us in the costly or material way we usually think of. Get rid of the excess to make room for more time. Time to bake, read, walk, play music, and drink hot autumnal drinks, all while watching the leaves change color right before our eyes.

They say the best things in life are free. Why don't you see if it's true for you, too? Refresh your home for fall by keeping only what is needed and eliminating the rest. Then, enjoy the season for all that it has to give you.

Happy fall.

Unleashing the Books: Letting Books Come and Go

Books… they will always be a downfall for me.

I love the way books feel, the way they smell, and the way the words create escapism. I love bookstores for the same reasons, too: the feeling, the smell, the escape. It's heavenly.

So how does a minimalist work with books? Very carefully.

To a book lover, a bibliophile if you will, books are a treasure. They are to be sought after and held close to you, in bookshelves, spilling onto floors, and overflowing from drawers. They are a precious commodity that deserves its own museum (Hence, libraries).

 

Except that none of that describes the minimalist. In fact, it’s the antithesis of someone who embraces minimalism.

As someone who loves books, being both a writer and a reader, they will never not be a part of my life. Books are life-giving and companionship. They satisfy a part of my soul that is hard to explain (except to other bibliophiles).

So, books will be a part of my life, but they don’t ALL have to be. And there is a way to balance it all to keep the books you love and also minimize the home (and not leave your entire library for your family to have to sift through one day).

Here’s what I’ve come to do over the last few years.

1. Keep them separated: Make a list of the books you can’t live without, and make a list of books you feel sort of “meh” about. Then sit back and see what they really do for you. Do the books you can’t live without bring you happiness, even if you’re not reading them? Do the books you know you can live without feel like they’re taking up space? Once you’ve decided how you feel and what you truly can let go of, that’s when you take out the “meh” ones and donate them or give them to friends, or add them to your local neighborhood mini library.

2. Physical book versus digital book: I’ve talked about this before in a previous post about books, but this is really where you’ll either help to elevate the minimal process or continue with the downfall of book hoarding. I love holding a book. In fact, after reading a dozen digital books, I just pulled a real book off my bookshelf to reread, and wow, does it sure feel nice. (Yes, it’s a book I’ve decided I have to keep, too). But, if you really want to keep the love for reading at the forefront and maintain your minimalism, this is where you'll have to choose digital over physical. I know! It doesn’t feel or smell the same. I get it. Remember, though, at the end of your life, who’s going through your bookshelves?

3. Give them away: I mentioned this earlier, but I truly believe books are meant to be given away. They’re knowledge; let other folks have that knowledge too. They’re inspirational; let others be inspired. They’re escapism; let others escape! Give and give away. Buy books for others so they can give them away too. (Of course, if you're lending a book you want to keep, make sure you tell the recipient it's on loan.) Books are for enjoyment and knowledge, so in my world, I try to make them an “easy come, easy go” element. What I learned needs to move on for someone else to learn.

Remember, what’s the worst that can happen? You donate a book you wished you’d kept. Well, lucky for us, books are everywhere. You can replace it for a small amount of money from an online or in-person bookstore. And if you’re like me and frequent thrift stores, it’s incredibly easy to find books you want that (even ones you don’t!) that, when done with, you can re-donate or give them away. Or keep.

Books: I love them. But I don’t need all of them. Just a few to make me feel like a human being, and just enough to live a life that’s full (but not overtaking my home).

Read on, my friends! Read on.

Time to Think, Time for Silence

The other day, as I was walking on the trails in my neighborhood, I noticed something: no one wants to listen to silence anymore. In essence, people don't want to hear what's really happening around them. Whether it's physical, as in the birds chirping, or the psychological, as in the problems in your life you need to think through, it's as though we're all numbing ourselves to what's going on. 

During this walk, there were numerous people with headphones or earbuds in their ears; there were even some people listening to the radio - a radio for all of us to hear. Some were on their phones having a conversation - a loud conversation that I didn't want to hear on my peaceful morning walk. And don't get me started on the number of people on their phones while walking.

What's happened to us?

It's as if none of us wants to think anymore; none of us wants to dig deep into what we need to dig deep into. We'd rather have something else numb us from going there, and because of the ubiquitous internet and media, those numbing agents are available to use. 24/7.

This isn't to say that there shouldn't be time to talk on the phone, listen to music, or catch up on that podcast. It's good to know what's going on in the world. Podcasts are a wonderful way to learn, as are audiobooks. But let's face it: social media, the internet, television, and radio are taking the place of thinking for ourselves, or just plain thinking in general. We take others' opinions rather than taking the time to think through them on our own. We're listening to other things, so we don't have to really think about what we need to think about.

Because of tinnitus I acquired a few years ago (ringing of the ear) in my right ear, I've stopped putting in ear buds, so if I go to the gym, it's just me doing my thing without music (which is such a rarity - about 95% of people in the gym wear some sort of headphones - I know because I survey it every time I go to the gym!) I don't run with earbuds either, so I have more time to really listen to what's going on inside as well as outside.

What else are we missing out on by not listening to silence? 

1. Nature: When was the last time you took a walk just to listen to nature? It's truly remarkable. Nature sounds are both soothing and engaging. Was that a squirrel making that noise or a deer just coming out of the wooded area? Is that a dove I hear or an owl? Nature is comforting to listen to. Something we all can use in this digital and loud world.

2. Peace: Want to know how to raise your anxiety? Watch the news, listen to talk radio, and read about the horrible worldwide news online. We weren't meant to know everything about everything. It's chaotic. It creates heavy hearts. Listening to silence, and your heart beat, you calm your anxiety, your brain rests, and you can physically feel yourself relaxing into a peaceful state.

3. That Still Small Voice: When we silence the world around us, when we get into that mode of meditation and quiet, that's when we hear what's truly going on around and inside of us: what's bothering us, what we need to change, what God is saying, and what direction we need to go in. Silence creates clarity. How can we hear any of that if we're always online? It's impossible.

It's easy to see we're all guilty of this. Sometimes, we just want to flip on the television after a long day. But what if, just like the good old days, what if we ate dinner and then, once the dishes were done, sat down with a cup of something to drink and pondered the day? What if we picked up a book and looked out the window at nature instead of our phones? What if we hung out with family, talked about our days, and stayed off the television and internet?

We need time to think, time to reflect, and time to listen to silence after a day of busyness and a constant barrage of media everywhere we turn. We need time to think to live a life that is worthy and simple, but full of the things that make our hearts happy and souls filled.

I always make time for social media, television, or the radio... but what am I missing out on if I never lean into silence?

That's the question I wrestle with. And it's something I've come to terms with over the last few years. Are we really living tuning out of ourselves and into the world? I think it's the opposite. The less we engage in numbing ourselves, the more we can face who we are, and what we are, and change what needs changing.

Time to think means time to truly live.

Living Free: The Ten Commandments of Paying Off a Mortgage

March 7, 2025 - The day we paid off 
our mortgage.

We did it! Those are the words I thought of the moment we paid off our house a few months ago. All of the hard work and dedication to get there was worth it, but I'll be honest: it was hard.

When I became a minimalist, I also became obsessed with eliminating our mortgage. They work together. The less you own, the fewer things you have to spend money on. And the less you have to spend, means more money is available to pay down your debt. As someone who used to have a mortgage, a mortgage from California where no real estate is cheap (or anything else, for that matter), here’s the truth: if I can do it, you can do it, too.

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to own your home debt-free? Well, I sure wondered. I imagined it, wanted it, and when my husband finally understood how much freedom we would gain by paying off the mortgage (it took a few years of convincing him), we knew it was within our reach if we were persistent. I told him I wanted to go to Disney World after we paid off the house. Knowing I’d be giving up material possessions, needs, wants, and desires, to instead make extra payments on the home loan, Disney World was a nice image to go back to when the days were long.

But this mortgage obliteration didn’t just happen. The home loan didn’t disappear all because I imagined it gone. As with anything worth pursuing, just wishing for it didn’t make it go away. It depended on two major things: discipline and patience. Which, if you think about it, everything big in our lives - marriage, raising kids, running a business - all require discipline and patience to see them through.

Paying off a mortgage is no different.

Ever since my husband and I bought our first home over twenty years ago, I knew this: We have to get this thing paid off sooner than thirty years. I was thankful for the home, but the ball and chain - more specifically, the interest that the bank makes off our payments - was an eye-opening, soul-crushing weight that I wanted to get rid of as soon as possible. 

We moved twice since that first mortgage, which meant we had to restart paying it off with each house (especially since each house was progressively larger and more expensive). But, after having lived with a mortgage and now, for the last few months, having lived without one, I truly believe anyone can pay off their mortgage. Anyone. 

When I analyze it now, and look back at the years we worked on it, there were a handful of things, along with discipline and patience, that we made sure to do. I call them the ten commandments for paying off the mortgage. And here they are.

Thou shalt stop buying extras - No coffees out, no extra clothes, no extra gadgets, no extra vacations. All of those extras will come after the house is paid off. Trust the process.

Thou shalt learn to live without - As extras are no longer a part of your life, this means living without a lot: without the latest trend, car, phone, new closet, or gizmo. Learn to live without.

Thou shalt look at the budget weekly (if not daily) - You have to remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing. Because there will be days when you want to go to Disney World rather than double or triple up your mortgage payment for the month.

Thou shalt learn to say no - I heard Dave Ramsey talk about this once. Just get used to saying the words, “No, we can’t afford it.” Because once the mortgage is paid off, you can afford it. It’s all about delayed gratification. Learn to say no.

Thou shalt learn to be happy with what one has - As we started paying down our loan, I got good at working with my closet, the things in my house, and not looking to upgrade anything. Saving a penny is truly earning a penny. All those saved pennies equal dollars, which turn into hundreds of dollars, and then thousands of dollars.

Thou shalt find ways to bring in extra money - Find ways to make more money, even if just temporarily. Sell stuff on eBay, pick up a part-time job. Those dollars add up fast and get you debt-free even faster.

Thou shalt pay off all other debts before the mortgage - We did this and it works great. Pay off your small loans or credit card debt first. As you pay each one off, add that amount you were paying to the next debt, and the next debt. Then, after those debts are paid, start adding them to the mortgage.

Thou shalt pray a lot - I prayed all the time about paying off the mortgage. I never stopped asking God to help me find a way to lessen our consumption so we could add those dollars to the mortgage loan. I’m sure He got tired of me asking, but I didn’t stop.

Thou shalt give away a lot - Though we shut our wallets to excessive and extra things, we didn’t to those around us. Paying off a mortgage doesn’t mean it’s time to stop sharing or helping others. By giving, we gain in other ways, particularly love. And who can’t use that? Money is temporal, but love lasts forever. 

Thou shalt not feel sorry for one’s self No. Matter. What. - This seems like a mild tenth commandment, but it really should come first. There will be days when you think, “I deserve this treat,” or “I just want to buy this little thing,” or “Why can’t I have this?” Listen, to be mortgage-free, you will have to act differently than those who have a mortgage! Paying off the mortgage means a no “woe is me” attitude. Buck up, live without, and look to the future of being debt-free.

And here’s a bonus with these ten commandments: If you don’t own a home, but want to save up to buy one, or get a sizable down payment to make the mortgage more affordable, use the same ten commandment method. The method that will pay off your mortgage is the same one that will get you the house in the first place. 

The gist of this whole thing? If you don’t want debt, you have to be willing to give up a lot for as long as it takes.

Self-sacrifice and keeping the goal of paying off the loan have to be at the core of your daily living, so you don’t derail your journey to freedom. But when you achieve it - when you reach your goal of paying off the very last penny of your home loan - it’s a feeling unlike anything else. Let freedom ring!

With credit card debt, you’re paying off past experiences, or things you had to have. But, with a home loan paid off, you now have an asset, an investment, that’s yours, that’s free and clear, and all yours. 

Be warned, it’s not going to be easy. If you decide to pay off your mortgage, it’s going to hurt more than it will feel good. You will question your sanity every day! But the day you make the last payment on your home forever is the day you’ll see why you suffered through what you did. If I can do it, you can do it.

 And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Disney World trip to plan.