Both my boys moved out of the house earlier in the year, then both got married (the second wedding, a surprise!), and now it means Christmas looks very different from the previous 24 years. That's a lot of years to do the same thing and then to suddenly not. It feels a little bit like being hit by a car. What's going on? What happened? Am I hurt?
Because of that, a part of me wanted to not even put up a tree. What was the point? But let's be honest and realistic - I love Christmas. I love everything about it, from the decor to the music to the Hallmark channel. I love it all, whether my boys loved it or not (which they did.)
So, even if my boys wouldn't be home for Christmas this year, or at least not waking up to Christmas day the way it's been over the last two decades, I could decorate for myself. I could enjoy the season regardless of my circumstances.
And now that things are different, I could even adjust a few things to make it simpler, less busy, and more the Christmas it needs to be.
What did we do differently? Well, here's a short list, but it's a chance for you to see what I'm changing - what I'm taking away and what I'm adding. And the biggest part about these changes is I could have done them when my kids were home, and really should have, but the pressure of having "the perfect Christmas" kept me from doing it.
Taking out:
1. No outdoor lights - This may be sacrilegious to some, but this year, we didn't do decorative lights on the house. It isn't that we don't love them; we do. But we wanted something different. Instead, we have a wreath that lights up with an automated timer, and it still gives our front door the light and the ambience we desire. Maybe we will again, but for now, this is a perfect fit for our simpler lives.
2. Fake tree - For years, we cut down a live tree. Nothing like the smell of a real tree! But, for various reasons, we didn't cut one down this year. (Truthfully, it was because we missed the window to get the permit. Oops! We were busy with a second wedding, and it slipped our minds.) Because of that, we dusted off the ol' fake tree, brought her out, and made do with her dwindling pine needles. Still a beautiful tree with a whole lot less work. We have the Christmas spirit regardless of the tree!
3. Fewer gifts - This one has been a gradual thing, but over the years, I've opted to get fewer gifts, but nicer gifts, for the family. This may be hard on the kids, like my nieces and nephews, but in the end, quality wins over quantity. I'm also opting for "usable" gifts these days, so items that can be eaten or used, or experienced, not collected and left to rot.
Adding in:
1. More baking - My diet has changed over the years, as it does when one gets older. For me, I've omitted a great deal of carbs and sugar for protein and fat. My diet has to be a touch stricter than I like due to health reasons, but I am allowed to indulge a bit. And if there is any season to indulge, I'd say Christmas is it. I'm baking a few treats this year, I'm going to embrace the season, and I'm not going to feel bad about it!
2. More Christmas Books - With a simpler life comes the chance to do more of what I love, and for me, that involves more reading. I just perused a bookstore with a friend of mine, and we took photos of books that looked interesting. This way, we control ourselves from buying every book we see, and it allows us to look them up and see if they seem like a good read. Also, I tend to buy digital books these days over physical ones. I also borrow from my digital library (check out Libby if you haven't!) and save a ton of money that way. Holiday books put me into the Christmas season, and it's a small gesture that takes my mind off the changes.
3. More family and friends - With two fewer sons in my home, it allows me more time to be with friends and other family. And is there anything else more worthy than that? I have coffee and lunch dates scheduled for the next few weeks and the new year, and I love it.
Our Christmas morning of cinnamon rolls and sausages will probably be relegated to just the sausages now. We did the cinnamon rolls for the boys! Yes, it's a tad sobering. But nothing is as constant as change, and with it, we will begin new traditions.
While it will be strange not to go into my boys' room to wake them up Christmas morning (or to find them waiting for us near the Christmas tree or their stockings), we can still FaceTime them, call them, text them, and one year, we will get time to spend with them again. It doesn't even have to be Christmas day, just a day designated as our "Christmas" is all I'll want because the best gift will be just to be with them again.
It's a simple Christmas Day for us this year, but it's going to be a beautiful one with just my husband and me and other family. We will spend it reflecting, I'm sure, but we will also adapt and learn new traditions and new ways of celebrating the season.
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