'Tis the Season to Declutter

When times get complicated, it's back to letting go of things.

This has become my motto lately. As we enter the holiday season, it's the only thing I want to turn to: letting go. Since I'm usually the one finding, organizing, and buying the Christmas gifts, the burden of it falls on me (though, bless my husband, he does offer to help), but it's still overwhelming. Then there's decorating the house, cooking, meal planning, and on top of that, everyday life, like work and home life.

This year, both of my sons got married. This is not what we were expecting, and to be honest, I'm still reeling. There was a lot to do, and a whole lot of emotions and feelings behind it. And this is all amidst working, running a home, traveling, and everything in between.

So, how does one stay sane? How can I manage to deal with stress, sorrow, happiness, and life? I keep on paring down. I wrote an article last year about this, and thousands of you have read it. I was going through stressful life events and realized that eliminating stuff while I was going through difficult events helped me see things clearly and helped me adapt to a new normal.

I'm right back to that motto. 

When we're busy, minimal living sometimes gets put on the back burner. We have things to do, people to buy gifts for, and keeping things neat and organized, and free of clutter, does get set to the side. It's not front and center; it's way off in the back of an abandoned closet!

Fortunately for us, at least for me, when things get hectic, paring down to what I love is the immediate action I want to take. I can tackle that pile of mail I hadn't sorted through, organize a shelf that had accumulated things over the course of the last few months, and organize my wardrobe (eliminating the things I'm still not wearing - but thought I would - after years of being a minimalist). My inability to declutter while I was busy has now become the focal point, as I sift through my emotional state of letting go of both of my sons to their beautiful wives.

Decluttering through stressful times helps me cope with it all, and here's the real truth: being busy with minimalism is a form of therapy.

1. Clear the clutter, clear the mind: This is the number one reason why I declutter when stressed and why I should declutter when I'm going through things. When I clear the clutter around me, it helps to clear all the "open tabs" in my brain. As I let go and sort through the debris in my physical life, it allows me to focus on the emotional events I'm going through and sift through what I need to think about and what I truly don't. It allows me to breathe. Allows the overwhelm around me to dissipate. Clearing the clutter, getting rid of what I don't need and doesn't serve me, allows me to navigate my new life events - because let's be real, if you're alive, you're going to always be going to and from new life events - and with a new normal. When I can't see clutter, it helps me to organize my thoughts and break down the emotional clutter that I need to let go of, too.

2. Off of me, and onto others: When I go through my rotating clutter that comes in through the busy months, I find that so many of these things I can give to others. Many items, I can give to family members (items I don't or won't use, even things that were gifted to me), or to friends or someone whom I know could use the item. And most often, bags of stuff I find to eliminate will end up donated at my local thrift store, and allow tons of other people to make use of my unused items. When I focus on others, giving to others, it takes the focus off of me, and any hint of self-pity turns into the glory of giving. Shifting the focus off of me and onto others always wins the battle of the mind.

3. Out of Control, to in control: The thing about getting rid of stuff is that it's a huge way of retaking control of your life. I'm choosing what I allow in and what I want to take out. While we can't control what others do, we can control what we say, think, and do. And by extracting the things that clutter up our lives - an overstuffed closet, or a pile of things we bought that we really didn't need to buy - we gain a sense of control, a good control. We get rid of the unwanted and unneeded items and trade them for simplicity and peace of mind. 

As the holidays encroach upon us, take this time as a time to declutter all the things around you that you've been ignoring. These things are taking up valuable space in your mind! Think about giving gifts that your family and friends can use rather than "things" that sit around and take up space. And give yourself a gift this season: a holiday of simple living, filled with only the things and people you love.

When I go back to the basics of decluttering and pare down to what I love, I find that my life - even if it seems chaotic - has an order to it now. I have room to breathe, think, and live an intentional life full of giving, joy, and the willingness to deal with life as it comes to me, no matter what it is.

'Tis the season to declutter!

Key Pieces: The Way to a Perfect Minimalist Travel Wardrobe

Oops, I did it again.

I just got back from a pretty spectacular trip to paradise: the gorgeous island of O'ahu. My husband and I went there to celebrate 25 years of marriage. And we had the best time eating ridiculous amounts of food with ridiculous ocean views. It truly was paradise.

These days, every time I go to pack, I'm confident in myself that I will pack right. I've talked many times here about how I've learned to pack well, and as a minimalist, not only pack well, but pack in five minutes because it doesn't take long anymore. It's a breeze, and I want to keep it this way.

But this time, though I knew better, I still overpacked shoes. Yes, this is because I have a weakness for shoes, but it was also because I didn't have a key piece in my wardrobe. Let me explain. 

Most everything else I packed, I packed right. For a week's vacation, I was able to mix and match all my clothes. There was a single pair of shorts and one skirt I brought that I didn't wear, and that was because it had been a long time since wearing them; I didn't realize how uncomfortable I was in them. (I immediately gave them away as soon as I got home, by the way. No use keeping space for them.) Everything else was spot on. Yay, me!

But, the shoes... so I packed like six pairs. Guys, I know. You don't get it. But for women, we need shoes that go with different outfits because in Hawai'i, we like to change for meals. Just how it is. So, for dinner with my dresses, I brought several sandals. I realized while I was packing that:

1. I still have too many sandals I don't wear. I brought several because one pair went with one outfit, and the other went with the other. Why was I able to mix and match my clothes but not my shoes? That was my problem. I had the key piece of clothing to blend, but I didn't have the right key sandals to blend in with the mix-and-match outfits. That's when I realized I...

2. Needed a key sandal for all my outfits. I needed a neutral sandal that went with the maxi dress, one that went with my sundress, and one that went with a skirt. This same sandal could also be worn with my shorts and other outfits. This explained why I was frustrated with choosing the right shoes for the trip, standing in my closet with numerous sandals in my hands. Nothing worked for everything, and that got me to actually...

3. Buy the key piece while on my trip. I know. Crazy, but I was in a clothing shop on the island looking at a sandal, and it was exactly what I needed to go with everything. So, I bought it! And it really did go with every outfit. To the point that I ended up wearing them nearly exclusively every day. And left the other five pairs of sandals I brought just sitting in a heap in the hotel closet.

I don't think I've ever purchased a key piece for my wardrobe while on vacation before, but there is a first for everything. And in this case, it was exactly what I wanted and needed.

If I had had these sandals before the purchase, I could've left the other pairs at home. My packing for this trip (minus the one skirt and shorts, which were my fault... I should've tried them on before packing, and minus the extra sandals) would have been perfect otherwise. 

I have a trip coming up to Florida in February. I'm determined not to overpack one single item. And I can't wait to do it and tell you all about it. This time, it's going to be just right! Learn from me. Make sure you love what you want to wear, that it fits you, and that it mixes and matches with everything in your wardrobe. 

If you don't have those key pieces, find them, make your outfits revolve around the key pieces (like the sandals, or the blouse, or the pants), then eliminate the extras. Pare down, pare down, and, ultimately, pare down to love. 

Happy travels!

Fall Refresh for the Minimalist

Fall is here. And to me, this season is the "most wonderful time of the year." 

The holiday craze isn't here yet, but the days are finally getting cooler, crisp, and full of change. It's the beginning of returning home, of tending to the house to make it not just livable, but beautiful, loving, and resplendent with the season. It's a chance to watch fall envelope the leaves from green to auburns and golds; to grasp the season as it cools our nights and mornings.

Autumn means the return to slow living. 

Not that summer isn't full of slower moments, but in reality, many families are trying to squeak in the last vacation, and there are pool parties to go to, outdoor concerts, and beach days. It's a busy season. And it's also one that tends to bring in a lot of stuff. 

As far as I'm concerned, as a minimalist, there is "spring cleaning," but there should also be a "fall refresh." And I don't mean refresh in the way of new pillows for the sofa or candles for the tables (although, I did just bring out my pumpkin spice candle and it's all that I thought it would be: wonderful). I'm talking about a refresh in the home and purging a lot of what you just brought in (or things that didn't leave during the spring cleaning).

Here are a few ways to refresh your home this fall.

Wardrobe Rework: If you switch your clothes and box up spring and summer clothes to bring in fall and winter clothes, now is your chance to assess your wardrobe. Again. I'm pretty uber minimalist with my clothing, so all four seasons sit in my closet year-round. I know what I own fits me, and they're all things I wear. Can you say the same for your wardrobe? Before you put away the shorts and t-shirts, the skirts and tanks, and find the pieces you didn't wear. Can you say you'd wear it next year? If you didn't wear it this year, odds are high you won't next year. Set it aside for donation. Do this for every bit of your spring and summer wardrobe.

Summer Switcheroo: Vacations always bring in "stuff" for me. There are random souvenirs to buy (I do buy less now - I prefer the experience over a tchotchke), and yet, I often want the t-shirt, or a mug, or a magnet to remind me of the trip. What this means is I'm already thinking about the item at home that this tchotchke will replace. I've got other t-shirts that I once got from a vacation that would work better as a rag. Or that chipped mug I bought ten years ago can now be gently discarded for the new mug. One in, one out. Always a great rule, even for vacations, do-dads you (or I) just have to have.

Decorative Details: As a minimalist, there are only so many wreaths I want to buy, or decor I need for the house, without cluttering it up. So, I've decided to decorate (the little I do for fall) with natural items; things I can find just outside my door. I have a neighbor with a tree that is literally shedding acorns all day. I'm picking up the sweet acorns and piling them into pottery bowls. One for the coffee table, and one for the kitchen. It's natural, it's beautiful, and it didn't cost me a penny. We have wild turkeys roaming our neighborhood. They only molt once a year, and usually in late summer to early fall. That's right now! I have a small "bouquet" of turkey feathers in a vase on my bookshelf. It's unique and beautiful and fits right in with my vintage pieces. Look around: what does your neighborhood have that you can use decoratively?

We all need a little refresh once in a while. But often, it doesn't have to refresh us in the costly or material way we usually think of. Get rid of the excess to make room for more time. Time to bake, read, walk, play music, and drink hot autumnal drinks, all while watching the leaves change color right before our eyes.

They say the best things in life are free. Why don't you see if it's true for you, too? Refresh your home for fall by keeping only what is needed and eliminating the rest. Then, enjoy the season for all that it has to give you.

Happy fall.

Unleashing the Books: Letting Books Come and Go

Books… they will always be a downfall for me.

I love the way books feel, the way they smell, and the way the words create escapism. I love bookstores for the same reasons, too: the feeling, the smell, the escape. It's heavenly.

So how does a minimalist work with books? Very carefully.

To a book lover, a bibliophile if you will, books are a treasure. They are to be sought after and held close to you, in bookshelves, spilling onto floors, and overflowing from drawers. They are a precious commodity that deserves its own museum (Hence, libraries).

 

Except that none of that describes the minimalist. In fact, it’s the antithesis of someone who embraces minimalism.

As someone who loves books, being both a writer and a reader, they will never not be a part of my life. Books are life-giving and companionship. They satisfy a part of my soul that is hard to explain (except to other bibliophiles).

So, books will be a part of my life, but they don’t ALL have to be. And there is a way to balance it all to keep the books you love and also minimize the home (and not leave your entire library for your family to have to sift through one day).

Here’s what I’ve come to do over the last few years.

1. Keep them separated: Make a list of the books you can’t live without, and make a list of books you feel sort of “meh” about. Then sit back and see what they really do for you. Do the books you can’t live without bring you happiness, even if you’re not reading them? Do the books you know you can live without feel like they’re taking up space? Once you’ve decided how you feel and what you truly can let go of, that’s when you take out the “meh” ones and donate them or give them to friends, or add them to your local neighborhood mini library.

2. Physical book versus digital book: I’ve talked about this before in a previous post about books, but this is really where you’ll either help to elevate the minimal process or continue with the downfall of book hoarding. I love holding a book. In fact, after reading a dozen digital books, I just pulled a real book off my bookshelf to reread, and wow, does it sure feel nice. (Yes, it’s a book I’ve decided I have to keep, too). But, if you really want to keep the love for reading at the forefront and maintain your minimalism, this is where you'll have to choose digital over physical. I know! It doesn’t feel or smell the same. I get it. Remember, though, at the end of your life, who’s going through your bookshelves?

3. Give them away: I mentioned this earlier, but I truly believe books are meant to be given away. They’re knowledge; let other folks have that knowledge too. They’re inspirational; let others be inspired. They’re escapism; let others escape! Give and give away. Buy books for others so they can give them away too. (Of course, if you're lending a book you want to keep, make sure you tell the recipient it's on loan.) Books are for enjoyment and knowledge, so in my world, I try to make them an “easy come, easy go” element. What I learned needs to move on for someone else to learn.

Remember, what’s the worst that can happen? You donate a book you wished you’d kept. Well, lucky for us, books are everywhere. You can replace it for a small amount of money from an online or in-person bookstore. And if you’re like me and frequent thrift stores, it’s incredibly easy to find books you want that (even ones you don’t!) that, when done with, you can re-donate or give them away. Or keep.

Books: I love them. But I don’t need all of them. Just a few to make me feel like a human being, and just enough to live a life that’s full (but not overtaking my home).

Read on, my friends! Read on.

Time to Think, Time for Silence

The other day, as I was walking on the trails in my neighborhood, I noticed something: no one wants to listen to silence anymore. In essence, people don't want to hear what's really happening around them. Whether it's physical, as in the birds chirping, or the psychological, as in the problems in your life you need to think through, it's as though we're all numbing ourselves to what's going on. 

During this walk, there were numerous people with headphones or earbuds in their ears; there were even some people listening to the radio - a radio for all of us to hear. Some were on their phones having a conversation - a loud conversation that I didn't want to hear on my peaceful morning walk. And don't get me started on the number of people on their phones while walking.

What's happened to us?

It's as if none of us wants to think anymore; none of us wants to dig deep into what we need to dig deep into. We'd rather have something else numb us from going there, and because of the ubiquitous internet and media, those numbing agents are available to use. 24/7.

This isn't to say that there shouldn't be time to talk on the phone, listen to music, or catch up on that podcast. It's good to know what's going on in the world. Podcasts are a wonderful way to learn, as are audiobooks. But let's face it: social media, the internet, television, and radio are taking the place of thinking for ourselves, or just plain thinking in general. We take others' opinions rather than taking the time to think through them on our own. We're listening to other things, so we don't have to really think about what we need to think about.

Because of tinnitus I acquired a few years ago (ringing of the ear) in my right ear, I've stopped putting in ear buds, so if I go to the gym, it's just me doing my thing without music (which is such a rarity - about 95% of people in the gym wear some sort of headphones - I know because I survey it every time I go to the gym!) I don't run with earbuds either, so I have more time to really listen to what's going on inside as well as outside.

What else are we missing out on by not listening to silence? 

1. Nature: When was the last time you took a walk just to listen to nature? It's truly remarkable. Nature sounds are both soothing and engaging. Was that a squirrel making that noise or a deer just coming out of the wooded area? Is that a dove I hear or an owl? Nature is comforting to listen to. Something we all can use in this digital and loud world.

2. Peace: Want to know how to raise your anxiety? Watch the news, listen to talk radio, and read about the horrible worldwide news online. We weren't meant to know everything about everything. It's chaotic. It creates heavy hearts. Listening to silence, and your heart beat, you calm your anxiety, your brain rests, and you can physically feel yourself relaxing into a peaceful state.

3. That Still Small Voice: When we silence the world around us, when we get into that mode of meditation and quiet, that's when we hear what's truly going on around and inside of us: what's bothering us, what we need to change, what God is saying, and what direction we need to go in. Silence creates clarity. How can we hear any of that if we're always online? It's impossible.

It's easy to see we're all guilty of this. Sometimes, we just want to flip on the television after a long day. But what if, just like the good old days, what if we ate dinner and then, once the dishes were done, sat down with a cup of something to drink and pondered the day? What if we picked up a book and looked out the window at nature instead of our phones? What if we hung out with family, talked about our days, and stayed off the television and internet?

We need time to think, time to reflect, and time to listen to silence after a day of busyness and a constant barrage of media everywhere we turn. We need time to think to live a life that is worthy and simple, but full of the things that make our hearts happy and souls filled.

I always make time for social media, television, or the radio... but what am I missing out on if I never lean into silence?

That's the question I wrestle with. And it's something I've come to terms with over the last few years. Are we really living tuning out of ourselves and into the world? I think it's the opposite. The less we engage in numbing ourselves, the more we can face who we are, and what we are, and change what needs changing.

Time to think means time to truly live.